Celtic bludgeon Levein’s Peaky Blinders as Gerrard issues ‘come-and-get-him’ plea – roundup

Tommy Shelby and Co returned to our screens last night but, in Scotland, Craig Levein had already unleashed his own brand of stylised violence on the public.

As the Shelbys reel from the Wall Street Crash of 1929, Levein’s period drama sees players employing tactics from the same year.

Booting the ball out for a shy straight from kickoff in order to gain a few yards was possibly the technical high watermark of their day and perhaps illustrated why the Tynecastle cloggers sit joint bottom of the league with one point.

Their run of 10 league games without a win has left them so desperate that they’ve now resorted to claiming own goals.

‘New’ Bhoy Bayo, making his first start, insisted the goals were his and in doing so became the latest Celt to laugh off genuine frontier gibberish from Levein.

Fraser Forster was back in goals and doing what he does best… saving dodgy penalties against Hearts.

Unluckily for the big man, the Jambos scored from the rebound but it was a pleasantly unusual feeling to have a bit of hope at a spot-kick for a change.

If Willie Collum’s award is anything to go by, given after Jullien was cleared out, Celtic will need a top penalty saver this season to match their efforts at the other end of the pitch.

There are goals in this Celtic side and if we can get a settled defence, Celtic should be in for another highly successful domestic campaign.

Four Kristoffer Ajers would be wonderful for starters. Never mind sports science, we should be into some weird science to clone another few out of the big Norwegian.

Forster’s next penalty test regard could come at Ibrox on Sunday, depending on who is in charge of the flags and whistles, from Tory MPs to former Rangers season ticket holders.

Celtic will be up against what’s once again being referred to as “Steven Gerrard’s Rangers”, who beat St Mirren 1-0 yesterday with another set-piece winner.

One of the main talking points of the game was that goalscorer Barisic received a yellow card for going into the crowd to celebrate. We expect a statement anytime soon.

The incident, following the Passchendaele re-enactment at Rugby Park the other week, shows that the Ibrox club isn’t all that good at learning lessons.

Will their newly branded racist fans be able to keep a lid of their innate simmering fury when Legia Warsaw and Celtic come to town this week? Answers on the back of a UEFA citation (there were no SFA ones available).

Steven Gerrard has again issued a come-and-get-him plea over ‘star striker’, Trumpian man-child, and seething ball of rage, Alfredo Morelos.

Kristoffer Ajer
Four of these at the back would be great

The Colombian has now been ‘linked’ with a big money move to the continent, with imagined moves to China having, surprisingly, fallen through.

Gerrard says he would love to keep the player, who rarely scores in a big game, has never scored against Celtic and is routinely sent-off.

The Ibrox side has been ‘linked’ with a ‘near 10m euro’ move for Amiens striker Moussa Konate as a potential replacement.

How might those negotiations go? Near 10m? What do you want near 6m for?  Here’s 3m and give us 2m change.  No? We reject your valuation.

Rangers, of course, would never think of spending money they don’t have and leading their club to a financial catastrophe. Their players and fans might struggle to adapt to new realities, but the Ibrox side will have surely learned from the fate of their predecessor club. Er, well…

Elsewhere, Livingston moved to third in the league with a 4-1 win at Ross County, while Kilmarnock and Aberdeen fought out a dreary 0-0 draw at Rugby Park.

Killie boss Alessio was relieved to pick up his first point of the season, while Derek McInnes no doubt would have moaned incessantly to anyone not wearing earphones on the long road home.

One happy man was Tommy Wright, the St Johnstone boss who this week banished his captain Richard Foster from training.

His team have had a rough old start to the season, including a 7-0 thumping at Celtic Park on the opening day, but the Saints managed to nab a point at with a last gasp equaliser at Easter Road, four minutes into added-on time.

Hibs fans vented their spleen at Paul Heckingbottom who marched off straight down the tunnel to a sea of boos.

Wright’s rollercoaster week ended with him going from square-gos with his own players to blowing kisses at Hibs fans, proving that football is indeed a funny old game.

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